Dealing with Loss & Grief

In recent months, I have dealt with a lot of loss in many different forms, and it tests me daily. At times the feelings are overwhelming and then I must take a moment and recenter myself. So today, I would like to discuss loss and grief.

Loss: The fact or process of losing something or someone.

We all experience loss. It comes in many different forms and is something we have no control over.

• The loss of a job or financial loss in your business.
• The loss of an opportunity.
• The loss of a friendship, partnership, marriage.
• A loss health wise, whether temporary or more permanent, such as memory loss.
• The most permanent of all loss; death.

No loss is too small. Don’t ignore these feelings because it will only make you feel worse. Whatever the loss is, if you are feeling it, it is real.

Grief: a natural response to loss.

It is the emotional pain that you experience from a loss and can feel overwhelming. The roller coaster of emotions includes shock, anger, guilt, sadness, and confusion. Physically, it can cause insomnia, loss of appetite and the inability to think clearly. The more significant the loss, the more intense your feelings will be.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. It takes time and is dependent on your personality and coping skills and the type of loss that was experienced.

In 1969, Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the “five stages of grief.” Her findings were based on her studies of the feelings of patients facing terminal illness. We now use these five stages to define any type of loss.

The Five Stages of Grief

Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”

Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”

Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”

Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”

Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.”

As you go through the grieving process, you may experience one or all of these stages, it may not be in this order, or you may not experience any of it. Kübler-Ross never intended for these stages to be a rigid framework when dealing with loss and grief. In her last book before her death in 2004, she said of the five stages of grief: “They were never meant to help tuck messy emotions into neat packages. They are responses to loss that many people have, but there is not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss. Our grieving is as individual as our lives.”

When dealing with loss and the grief that stems from loss, it is important to get support from friends, family, colleagues, and professionals, if needed. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Share your loss because silence can be a burden. Meditation, spirituality, and deep breathing can help you stay calm and centered.

If I have helped even one person today, then I have done my job. Thank you for reading.